Writing

November 5, 2024 I started writing. Recognizing the historical significance of this moment, I knew I wanted to document how I was thinking and what I was feeling. For what purpose, I don’t know- I don't assume myself to be Anne Frank, but I know that I’m experiencing something special and my perception of this moment just might become a valuable tool to others in the here and now or in the future

And then I go on to remind myself, that not only is it helpful for others, but it's a useful tool for me as I understand myself and make decisions for how to respond to a rapidly changing environment. 

For example, in simply writing what I’ve shared above, I can recognize just how much of a hold capitalism has on my mind. Writing without purpose, without reason- writing just for the sake of writing feels like a silly project. An arrogant project. Who would want to hear or see from me? What makes me special?

The capitalistic idea that my writing, my thoughts, my expression, my art can only be valuable if it is to be found valuable by others has entrenched itself so deeply into my psyche that simply writing for the purpose of enjoyment feels frivolous. 

But I want to confront this internal limitation that tells me that I need not create or engage in an activity unless it’s producing some purpose. I want to allow myself to do things just for the sake of doing them and because it’s fun for me. This is an element of my life that I’m reclaiming. 

And so, I’m writing.